Is it me?

Now this may come as quite a controversial article, but I’m always wondering if there are people out there who feel the same and have the same problems. It can’t just be me right?

The cosplay community has millions of people all over the world, I cant be the only one.

I started this hobby in 2011 and haven’t really stopped since. I go to at least two conventions a year, have a decently sized online following and I’m even facebook friends with quite a lot of Australian Cosplayers.

If this is supposed to be such a loving community, why is it that I feel so alone?

As a person I will admit, I am quite socially awkward and don’t do so well in large groups, but I know others like that who have been accepted quite easily. Every time I attend a convention I see new cosplayers take the spotlight and that’s so amazing for them…but does that mean that my time is over?

My first real cosplay experience was a Sucker Punch group in 2011 and it was such an amazing day…but then I feel like I peaked too early. Was that my most notable costume and now anything after that just blends into the crowd?

Its also the people, I see posts all the time of people saying how amazing the cosplay community is and how they’ve made life long friendships, but I just don’t feel that way. Yes I have made some close friends that are amazing (most live in another state which is unfortunate) but I just never feel welcomed in the con circuit. Like I’m invisible.

Taking a recent example, a good friend of mine has become quite popular in the local scene, and why wouldn’t she. Shes such a charismatic person and she rocks every costume she wears, but then there’s me. We cosplayed together and I was hoping by being at her side, it would help me to be introduced to new people and get my social life back…but it didn’t. One particular instance was when I was introduced to a cosplayer, whom I already knew online, and they just said hi and went back to speaking to people on the other side of the group. But then there’s the other side where I passed by a lovely girl I’ve only met once also not really spoken to, and she greeted me with a smile and a “how have you been? You look awesome”.

Is it me? Am I the aspect that’s causing my own grief? Do people simply not like me and ignore me at cons because they don’t want to talk to me? Or is the fact that I’m simply not charismatic enough to hold a conversation or draw attention?

There are so many factors to consider that I don’t know what the ultimate answer is. It’s not like this is the environment where people will openly say they don’t want to be friends with you…but I wish they would. Then I could know why I feel this way all the time.

This post is in no way a dig at anyone in particular or just a whinge session, but if people don’t know how you feel, it makes social situations that little bit harder to encounter. Like if you are really quiet around people, are you always like that or has something happened in your life that no one knows about, causing you to act that way?